It is Memorial Day, and on this day I remember many things.
I remember the way the rain was falling this morning when I woke up, a sob caught in my throat. I remember thinking “the sky is crying with me.”
I remember the words of a dear friend, “there is no getting around grief. A person has to go through it.”
I remember warmth as I wrap myself in the wool Army blanket Grandpa gave me. The comfort I find in the blanket is the same comfort I found in the warm embrace of Grandpa’s hugs. I wrap the blanket tighter, and I feel the memory of his strong arms, as his scratchy, deep, voice said “keep your head on a swivel, Wink,” which really meant I love you in Grandpa speech. He didn’t say those words, but the wool blanket does. I remember that.
It is Memorial Day. This is a day we remember and honor all those who have been lost while fighting for our freedom. For those who have lost loved ones it seems there isn’t a day that goes by that isn’t Memorial Day.
I am new to this grief thing. I haven’t lost much before. I always appreciated this day because I understood the sacrifices made by those who have lost there lives. I understood it in a logical way, and it made me feel. Now I understand loss in an emotional way, and it still makes me feel.
Our country is made great by a great many. The wool army blanket I am holding tight is one my Grandpa got from his days serving in the military. He is counted among the Vetrans in our country, but he was a Vet of another kind as well. Doctor Norman Knispel was a Large Animal Veterinarian after his days of service in the Army. He saved a great many lives throughout his careers, and in doing so helped many people, including farmers and their families. Grandpa helped a great many in a great number of ways. He is an example of what makes this country what it is. That is something I remember on this Memorial Day.
We all have a reason to grieve. We all have a reason to remember. There isn’t a one of us that has any less of a right to grieve than the next one. There is no getting around it, there is only going through it. On Memorial Day we are given a blatant excuse to do so. A whole day to feel and to remember.
I have been wondering how to say this all day, but it is simple really, I’m sad. I have dreams about Grandpa, I see him alive. I wake up, knowing it isn’t true, and then I cry.
I feel the warmth of Grandpa’s wool blanket and it comforts me. I allow myself to go through the tears and sadness, and I remember.
Its Memorial Day. Be safe, be sad. Be free to talk, and feel, and cry. And please, please, remember.
5 thoughts on “Wrapped In Memories: Thoughts Before Sleep”
Thank you for sharing your beautiful and honest thoughts and feelings, Little One. I wish I was there to give you a hug.
I will be in Grand Rapids this week probably. We shall be sure to meet up for tea, Karen.
Thank you for your kind words!
Hi Diamond—-once again you express so well what the rest of us can feel as well. Your Grandpa would be proud and happy with your words. Take comfort in your memories as you make new ones and take good care as well—–love chuck and marilyn.
I like to think he would be. I am happy to hear that you wonderful people appreciated them. I hope all is well there! I’m sending positive vibes.
I’m so sorry for your loss Diamond! May your grandfather’s blanket keep you safe and warm through the days you walk this earth!